One of my friends made the request. "Will you post on here something about how to step aside and let my children have their own lives? I need to get out of my sons way and stop meddling." This is great subject to look at as we all need to be reminded of...
"what is our role as a parent"?
So from my perspective this is often referred to as "helicopter parenting". A helicopter parent is a parent who pays extremely close attention to a child's or children's experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. There are a couple of things that go along with helicopter parenting, It sends the message that you don't think your child can handle their life, it creates huge codependency issues for both parent and child, the biggest issue I see is it denies the child the right to make their own choices and the ability to grow and progress.
I can see the intent of helicopter parenting is to prevent our children from pain, however that's an illusion. In most cases it can cause more pain for the child, they are often unable to make there own choices when given an opportunity, which can often lead to feelings of both depression and anxiety. Children can often feel like life is hopeless when they feel that they have no power, which would contribute to them never taking responsibility or being accountable.
So how do we all as parents step back and allow our kids to live their lives?
First take a look at the things you are doing for your children? Are there things you are doing for your child that they could and should be doing for themselves? Don't expect perfection, be willing to watch them struggle, they will learn far more in their journey. Be willing to give feedback but not to willing to jump in and solve it for them, this builds their confidence. Let the consequences stand, this is how we all learn is by dealing with the consequences of our actions. Offer your love unconditionally! We may not always love the behaviors of our children, however let them know you love them no matter what.
Trust, the firm belief in the ability and strength of someone or something. Trust is key to being a supporting parent. After all we had our chance to live our own lives, let us all allow our children the power over their own journey. Trusting the guidelines we have in place will help them along the way.