My Story

I am guessing it was roughly seven years ago......

when I started on my own journey of self-discovery.  I can with certainty tell you at the time, I had no idea I was on a journey of any sort, let alone something as enlightening as self-discovery.

I woke up one morning not feeling like myself.  Thinking what’s wrong with me?  Knowing innately that most definitely yes... something was indeed wrong.  I proceeded to schedule an appointment with my doctor, knowing his knowledge and testing would most certainly identify the problem.  Much to my surprise the test revealed there was nothing wrong.  My blood pressure slightly elevated, but otherwise perfectly healthy.  What???  

Fast forward about five years, I am watching my sons grow at an alarming rate and I am starting to panic, thinking what I will do when my boys are grown?  My husband Shaun has a career that keeps him more than busy, where would that leave me when my boys no longer needed me in the same way?  I was a Mom first, Wife second and coming in last were my hopes and dreams.  I have a hair salon in the basement of my home, it allows me the flexibility to work from home and schedule my clients around the needs of my family. 

I thought to myself..I could always start over in my cosmetology career.  However, the one thing I was becoming very aware of was the impact to my body that standing on my feet for the last 20 years was having.  So the question went out to the universe, What am I meant to do?

Cosmetology is great training for "listening" and having listened to my clients for over 20 years I became acutely aware of the common thread that I could tie almost every complaint together with.  They may have had a different form but they were all truly about achieving something that is not possible, physical perfection.  The physical form and our quest to appear physically beautiful.  While there is nothing wrong with physical beauty, the quest for physical beauty came from ego and has a lot of negativity tied to it.  I began to notice my own ego resonated with what my clients were saying, their beliefs and that was a turning point for me. 

I began to search for ways in which I could actually help people feel better about who they are. Did I need to go to college?  Probably not a good idea....the though immediately linked to painful memories from my 20's and the acknowledgement that the traditional college setting was not ideal for me and the way I was wired.  

So what now?

Feeling lost and wandering the path of self-discovery and awareness,  I started asking the question of others "what can I do”?  A very dear friend of mine tells me about this thing called emotional processing.  Thinking to myself now that sounds interesting, I immediately started investigating.  It Turns out this is exactly what I was looking for. 

I enrolled in the year long program at the Institute of Healing Art.  Where I learned a lot about emotional release and how to become a facilitator. Most of my experience there I spent working on my own issues....healing my inner child.  

Early on in the program I started to notice changes in my own behavior.  I started to feel relief from some of the physical symptoms I had been having for years.  My relationships with my husband and children started to change.  I was no longer angry and full of fire.  The caged animal inside me had been set free.  

It turns out even from a young age, depending on the different experiences we have, we make a decision about who we are, what our values are and how to compensate for those beliefs.  When I went back and healed that scared 5 year old and helped her to see that she was just as whole and pure as she had ever been, I no longer reacted to situations in my adult life from the perspective of my 5 year old self.  

Imagine you have a five mile drive ahead of you

but instead of driving directly to your destination, there are 25 detours you have to complete to get there.  That’s the way it works in the brain when we hold on to emotional pain.  We can’t just get there via the direct, simple route; rather we have to compensate for past hurts by going around them until we finally reach the destination.  Wow!  No wonder I was feeling anxious and out of sorts.  That’s an exhausting place to live life from.  Not to mention the tiniest thing can cause an explosion capable of great repercussions.

So here I am.....grateful and renewed by all that I have gone through.  I am living my life from an authentic, present place.  My relationships are more genuine. I am able to communicate more effectively which has helped improve my parenting skills.  After this long journey I can finally say I have found peace.